Presence is a skill

Being in the room is not the same as being present in it. Presence is a skill, and like every skill it decays without practice.

The practice is simple and slightly uncomfortable: one thing at a time, done with the whole of your attention. The phone in another room during dinner. The report closed while your colleague is speaking. The child's story heard to the end, including the boring middle.

People can feel the difference in seconds, and they remember it for years. Half of what families call love is, in practice, attention.